The Cafe

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:53 pm

Same here but you have severe reoccuring depression and randomly just try to push away and hut the people you love without meaning to and regret it later until your so sad you cut yourself.I cant help it.I try so hard not to fall again into despair,but at random times I just do.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:54 pm

oops!misspelled some words and left out one or two I think.Well thats what happens when I ramble.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:54 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: Same here but you have severe reoccuring depression and randomly just try to push away and hut the people you love without meaning to and regret it later until your so sad you cut yourself.I cant help it.I try so hard not to fall again into despair,but at random times I just do.

yeha same im also bipolar and very emotional the only person even to actually calm me is misa...

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:55 pm

lol its ok

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:56 pm

she ..... stopped me from cutting..... my arm is so scared but there are times when i feel like i faint i seem normal to everyone else yet i feel aasleep when i wake up i have new marks on me.... i dont really tell anyone that part

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:57 pm

I hate it and hate myself for what I am.So many scars.I had someone who calm me down better than my girl friends,but hes gone now,he moved,I never told him how.... Devastated

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:58 pm

I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:00 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I hate it and hate myself for what I am.So many scars.I had someone who calm me down better than my girl friends,but hes gone now,he moved,I never told him how....

i know too i hate myself too ...... i have over 50 scars on my left arm....

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:01 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:03 pm

Mine are mostly on my legs,cause my mom checks my arms now.I dont know how many,but my legs will never get tan and I dont want them to be.The whiter I am the easier it is to hide the scars from everyone else.You are one of the lucky ones.You have someone to calm you down,all I have is a picture and memories.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:04 pm

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:07 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:08 pm

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

thank God yours are rare,I feel it everytime.

We are making ourselves so depressed right now huh?

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:10 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: Mine are mostly on my legs,cause my mom checks my arms now.I dont know how many,but my legs will never get tan and I dont want them to be.The whiter I am the easier it is to hide the scars from everyone else.You are one of the lucky ones.You have someone to calm you down,all I have is a picture and memories.

i have to hide mine my cousin thinks he can stop me.... so i kinda hide them also there are times where it doesnt work for her calming me down in those instances im jsut lucky i guess that i couldnt find a razor...

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:11 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

thank God yours are rare,I feel it everytime.

We are making ourselves so depressed right now huh?

kinda but ive been a bit depressed ..... the smallest thing can trigger me into a depressed state.... the joys of being bipolar>.>

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:12 pm

even if doent always work,you still have the net to catch you when your falling,I have no safety net,I just fall and then have to pick myself back up on my own.

Is it ok if I add you as a friend?

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:13 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: even if doent always work,you still have the net to catch you when your falling,I have no safety net,I just fall and then have to pick myself back up on my own.

Is it ok if I add you as a friend?

yeah

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:14 pm

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

thank God yours are rare,I feel it everytime.

We are making ourselves so depressed right now huh?

kinda but ive been a bit depressed ..... the smallest thing can trigger me into a depressed state.... the joys of being bipolar>.>

sorry your bipolar,Im ADHD and half the time my family likes to make me feel like the family idiot just because Im blond,but I want to be an Anesthesiologist and they dont think I can really do it.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:14 pm

the odd part is i hid like 30 razors in my room when i was depressed last but i cant really find em i actually found one now....

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:16 pm

You must be good at hiding things.I only have a pocket knife the size of my finger so I can hide it in my bra if need be.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:16 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

thank God yours are rare,I feel it everytime.

We are making ourselves so depressed right now huh?

kinda but ive been a bit depressed ..... the smallest thing can trigger me into a depressed state.... the joys of being bipolar>.>

sorry your bipolar,Im ADHD and half the time my family likes to make me feel like the family idiot just because Im blond,but I want to be an Anesthesiologist and they dont think I can really do it.

oh i know what you mean im the family anger target.. >.> anything goes wrong its my fault..... also...... im never left alone there always buggin the hell out of me.....

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:17 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: You must be good at hiding things.I only have a pocket knife the size of my finger so I can hide it in my bra if need be.

no i jsut kinda forget lol i keep a razor in my wallet but its hard to get out so i forget about it lol

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:18 pm

lol forgetful much?Yeah.You know,you are pretty cool.

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:20 pm

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:

Lightkun wrote:

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: I know what you mean,I black out at school in the bathroom and then new cuts are either on my arms or legs.

yeha and when im aware of them like when i consiously do it i dont feel any pain and i dont bleed for several min so i dont think im actually doing it.... till i see them bleeding

no when I do it conciously I feel all the pain and I love it for some reason,and then I hate myself again for loving it.

there are rare instances when i do the same thing

thank God yours are rare,I feel it everytime.

We are making ourselves so depressed right now huh?

kinda but ive been a bit depressed ..... the smallest thing can trigger me into a depressed state.... the joys of being bipolar>.>

sorry your bipolar,Im ADHD and half the time my family likes to make me feel like the family idiot just because Im blond,but I want to be an Anesthesiologist and they dont think I can really do it.

oh i know what you mean im the family anger target.. >.> anything goes wrong its my fault..... also...... im never left alone there always buggin the hell out of me.....

same here as well,if not for this comp Id friggin lose it!!!and be all dam technology!!

Subject: Re: The Cafe Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:20 pm

Ravenicka(AKA R) wrote:: lol forgetful much?Yeah.You know,you are pretty cool.

^^ thanks so far it seem like everyone i know has wanted me as there big bro lol

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